Wishes...

Merry Christmas!!!!

May all women who are praying and hoping to have a child be granted their wish this Christmas.

Baby dust to All....

So Much Heat....

Had another appointment with my OB last Friday and again I was emotional. It seems that I am not truly over yet with my rebirth.

I was a bit emotional when she asked me how I was and I said that I was a bit disappointed because I had my period. While mentioning this I started crying, can you believe how emotional I am!!!!

Anyway, she asked me to explain in detail how I felt. I said I felt disappointed, frustrated, impatient and mad. She asked what exactly was running in my head. I said that I really felt bad because I was really hoping that we'll be successful this time and I couldn't help but ask how come other people doesn't have a hard time conceiving while here I was doing everything just to be able to conceive. She said I understand how you feel and she said it seems that I am not yet fully convinced that I will be able to conceive. That I still have some fear and emotional baggage left after that miscarriage. So her advise was to be positive about everything and try to analyze whether there is still that fear in me. I should be emotionally prepared and be fully convinced that I will be able to conceive again and that I will have a healthy pregnancy.

So she gave me part of my constitutional remedy to release all that leftover emotional baggage in to be able to move on fully. After that she also checked my cervix and I was really releasing a lot of heat. My discharge was also brownish which means that I am also having some liver flush. Tying it all together, the liver represents our emotions as well and the reason why I was having some release was a result of my emotional turmoil last week. This also explained why there was so much heat when she was checking my cervix.

A new medicine was also prescribed to improve my cervical mucous in time for my ovulation period. I'll be seeing her again by January and she said that maybe this time it will already be a pre natal check up.

I said, I hope so too....

Moving On With My Journey

Not pregnant yet since I got my period yesterday. I had a bout of depression and it was my husband who actually gave me the strength to up and about again. He said that maybe Rico and Ramon will be Christmas babies. He really made me smile when he said that and I quickly recovered from my depression.

Anyway, I started taking my pre-natal multi vitamins and epa (eicosapentaenoic acid) and dha (docosahexaenoic acid) as prescribed by my doctor.

This was the first time I heard about EPA and DHA so I asked what was the relevance of this supplement for pregnant women. My doctor said that it will help in the brain and retina development of the fetus and during the first few months after birth. DHA is also thought to lower the risks of premature birth, low birth weight, and post-partum depression. I also read articles in the internet and a lot were saying that this supplement is not only beneficial for pregnant women but is also beneficial to improve one's health.

Moving on with my journey :)

Signs....

Had my day 22 blood test for progesterone and the results were good.

Result : 9.36
Reference Value at Luteal Phase: 1.7 - 27.0 ng/mL

Based on all the blood test, it just showed that everything is normal and that I indeed had an ovulation this cycle.

I went to see my doctor earlier and we discussed my updates.

When I told her about Rico and Ramon she had goose bumps. She said this was a strong signal that I'll be getting pregnant real soon. Looks like I might be having twins if I do get pregnant. I also researched what the name Rico means and I was really surprised that it is somehow a derivative of my husbands name Ricky. I think this means that one of our child will have a strong resemblance and similar personality. Ramon on the other hand means "Godlike".

By the way, I also had another dream 2 nights ago and this time I was giving birth again to twins. In this dream, I had such an easy labor that in one go or in one push both babies came out of my womb. It was so easy that I was in fact comparing it with my friends and I couldn't really relate on how it could be so painful.

Then, she also checked my basal body temperature graph and it showed a good reading. It would have been better if we had a longer contact (about a week or 2 more intercourse during my ovulation) but we only managed two. Although I mentioned that during our contact, I had egg white mucous.

Lastly, she checked my visceral fat index. Historically, it was hovering at 43-50% fat which is too high and not ideal for getting pregnant. Surprisingly, today my index was only 16% which is so ideal for twins.

Based on all our analysis, everything is aligning so well that's why she was very positive that it will be happening soon. She already prescribed me to take pre-natal vitamins and calcium.

At this point, I can only hope and pray that I'll get pregnant soon.

Was it a Dream or Just My Imagination?

This may sound really weird for some, but I had a dream the other night. Two people/twins, babies, or souls were talking to me in my dream. They said they were Rico and Ram. That was the name they wanted. I said I don't like Ram because a popular celebrity here in the Philippines (Pops Fernadez) has a son with the same name. After a while its like we agreed to change it to Ramon. That was all that I remembered in my dream.

As soon as I woke up, I was not really sure whether it was really a dream or it just my imagination going wild.....I remembered my doctor who kept on telling me to call on to the "souls" so that they'd be there during our baby making time. I wonder whether these were the souls that she was telling me????

Why twins? Its been a standing joke between my doctor and us (hubby and I) because there was an instance wherein she saw "two" me while I was waiting for her in the lobby of her clinic. Then she asked me if there was a history of twins in our family and I said my paternal grandfather had a twin. She said that there's a big chance for twins especially if its coming from the mother side.

I am not really sure what this is all about. Whether we'll have twins or not, it does not really matter. We are only wishing for one child at this point. But, who knows???

Only time will tell....

Day 10 FSH Test

Had my Day 10 FSH test last Friday and on the same day I also got the results.

F/sh (Follicle Stimulating Hormone): 4.66
Ovulatory Phase Reference Value: 4.7 - 21.5 mIU/mL

Hmm, looks like I'm at the borderline. Not really sure what this means but based on my research, it would have been worrisome or it is much more difficult to get pregnant if I got a higher results.

I'll know for sure once I see my doctor next week.

Another test on Day 20 or 21, this time progesterone.

Updates....

Had my check-up early this morning and had an 1 1/2 session with my doctor. The first thing she asked me was "how are you?". So I said I'm a bit more emotional nowadays. She said that's good because that's a form of release.

Then she started asking me about my relationship with my Mom. So I told her that when I was a kid I was very dependent on my Mom. I used to sleep beside her till I was in college and most of the time I literally wanted to be with my Mom 24/7. Wherever she goes, may it be a gathering with her friends in the neighborhood, parlor, supermarket, etc. I'd always want to tag along. I became independent when I started working. I also told her that My Mom and I are really close since I lost my Dad when I was 3 1/2 years old. Then she said, did I see my Mom grieve? I said I don't remember because I was too young. She's thinking that my Mom's way of grieving was to give me a lot of attention to more or less cope with the loss of my Dad. Although, this does not mean that she loved my brothers any less. I may have been her focus of attention being an only girl in order to move on after loosing my Dad.

My doctor said that this maybe another "layer" that's surfacing and slowly I am re-discovering the "true me". She said to just let it happen and just try to see my emotional developments/changes in the next few days.

She also interpreted my estradiol, FSH and progesterone. She was happy with the results and she may just need to look into my husband more closely. I have another test tomorrow which is day 10 of my cycle.

I also mentioned about the water birth that I saw in the net and while I was telling her about this, she was having goose bumps. We don't what it means yet......

All in all everything was good and I'm bound to see her in 2 weeks time :)

Test Results

I had my tests for FSH, progesterone and estradiol during follicular phase and I also got the results this afternoon. Instead of going to the hospital for the test, I just had a home service from an independent lab that's why the results were fast.

Here are the results:

Progesterone - 0.631 Follicular Phase Reference Value: 0.2 - 1.5 mg/mL
FSH - 9.4 Follicular Phase Reference Value: 3.5 - 12.5 mIU/mL
Estradiol - 44.96 Follicular Phase Reference Value: 12.5-166 pg/mL

Based on what I saw it looks like everything is normal. Whew, thank God for that....I really prayed hard that there will be no negative results because I was scared that another complication will manifest. I am just glad that everything looks normal.

I'll be seeing my doctor next week so I'll know for sure if I correctly interpreted the results.

Another test on day 10 of my cycle :)

New Blood Tests for ME

Tomorrow would be day 3 of my cycle and my doctor recommend that I undergo blood tests for the following progesterone, FSH and Estradiol.

Progesterone - progesterone levels vary predictably throughout the menstrual cycle, multiple (serial) measurements can be used to help recognize and manage some causes of infertility. Progesterone can be measured to determine whether or not a woman has ovulated, to determine when ovulation occurred, and to monitor the success of induced ovulation.

In early pregnancy, progesterone measurements may be used, along with human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) testing, to help diagnose an ectopic or failing pregnancy (progesterone levels will be lower than expected), although this will not differentiate between the two conditions. Progesterone levels also may be measured throughout a high-risk pregnancy to help evaluate placenta and fetal health.

Progesterone levels may be monitored in women who have trouble maintaining a pregnancy, as low levels of the hormone can lead to miscarriage. If a woman is receiving progesterone injections to help support her early pregnancy, her progesterone levels may be monitored on a regular basis to help determine the effectiveness of that treatment.

In women who are not pregnant, progesterone levels may be used, along with other tests, to help determine the cause of abnormal uterine bleeding.

FSH - often used in conjunction with other tests (LH, testosterone, estradiol, and progesterone) in the workup of infertility in both men and women. FSH levels are used to help determine the reason a man has a low sperm count. FSH levels are also useful in the investigation of menstrual irregularities and to aid in the diagnosis of pituitary disorders or diseases involving the ovaries or testes. In children, FSH and LH are used to diagnose delayed or precocious (early) puberty.

Estradiol - To measure or monitor your estrogen levels if you are a woman who has unexplained abnormal menstrual cycles, abnormal or heavy bleeding, infertility, symptoms of menopause, or any other hormonal alterations; also used to test for fetal-placental status during early stages of pregnancy; the presence of female-like characteristics in males may require estrogen measurement as well.

Hopefully everything comes out okay...

Water Birth, Is this A Sign?

Ok see my previous post about water birth? Guess what, a local TV show called the Correspondents featured it in one of their segments.

I was so surprised because the timing is so uncanny. Hmmm, I wonder if this is really a sign that I'm bound to have a water birth?

Anyway, first step is still to get pregnant. I don't want to think about my method of birth until I get pregnant :)

New Medicine for My Thyroid

My doctor gave me a new medicine for my thyroid and its suppose to help my metabolism as well to speed my weight loss. Its called "Bladderwrack or Fucus versiculosus", the taste is indescribable. I put 60 drops in little water and I take it twice a day before meals. After taking it, I felt like vommiting. Ughhhh, I hate the taste.

On another note....

I don't know why I'm so emotional today....I researched about the waterbirth and I was really amazed with it. There was this particular clip that made me cry. After the woman gave birth in the water and then she immediately held the baby in her arms. I was just crying. It may sound weird but I truly felt the emotions of the Mom in seeing her baby and holding him in her arms. It felt like it was me and I somehow connected with the Mom or I saw myself how I would feel once I get to hold my baby for the first time. Right now, while writing about this experience, its getting me spooked.

I think is still part of me rebirth or my re-connection with myself. Hmm, do I sound crazy to some people? Maybe, but then I really don't care.

What's happening to me???

Reborn...

Those were the exact words my doctor said to me earlier when we had our consultation.

She is back from more than a months training in the US so as expected it was a long consultation with her. It lasted for about an hour and a half.

As our usual routine, the first thing she asked me was "How are you?". Upon hearing that questions, I said I'm but I noticed some changes in me. At first I disregarded what was actually happening to me but to my surprise it was actually a major breakthrough.

So, I told her surprisingly I started writing, telling her that I have a blog about my journey in conceiving a baby. I said that I've never really written like this and this is a bit new to me. I think the last time I jotted down my thoughts was about five years ago. Then I said I'm a lot bubblier, happier and a bit more "kulit" than I used to. Another change is that I started being conscious again about how I look, wearing make-up, change of wardrobe and its like a new me. Lastly, I said that I started being more "sociable" now. After I resigned, I had this urge to just be myself most of the time and was not really in the mood to socialize that much. Nowadays, I'm the certified "social directress" in the group. I always organize the get together with my friends.

After sharing all this she said, that's good. You shed of a "layer". You are Reborn.When she says layer, it means that as we grow old we have the tendency to change from who we really are because of the environment, crisis/problems, family, etc. Meaning anything that affects us tends to change who we really are. She said the "layer" I accumulated or that molded me during my "corporate life" is being shed off. The true me is coming out. She also said that this time she's confident that I truly and have finally grieved my miscarriage. This major crisis (miscarriage) that happened to me affected me so much and in order to cope I added a layer to myself.

Upon hearing this and when she said that I was reborn, I started crying . Upon hearing all of these things, everything really made sense. It also explained all the changes and this lighthearted feeling that I had.

She also said that being in tune to yourself or being "spiritual" is the best or ideal state for me because it signifies that I am ready to face the world. Being spiritual does not mean being religious but more of knowing and being in tuned with yourself. She says that I am completely ready to move on and readier than I'll ever be to become a "Mommy". She is actually encouraging me to continue writing because this will help me to heal completely.

Whew, the whole time we were discussing my situation I was really crying.....After that she shared her experiences in her convention in the US. She mentioned "water birth". Literally, giving birth in the water which she is planning to set-up here. She said I think you and your husband are just waiting for this. She said this because she knew that my husband loves the water :)

For my next consultation, she will again re-take my constitution because she feels that will be different this time because of that layer I shed off.

It was a very enlightening and encouraging consultation from her....

Envious....

I just heard that two of my cousins are pregnant again. Now I'm dreading attending the Christmas gatherings because for sure my relatives will once again ask me, when will I get pregnant.

It gets harder and harder each time. I can't help but envy my cousins and wish that I am also pregnant.

More than anything or more than what they will say I am really longing to be a mother soon...

Aargh, I really hate this feeling . I should just be happy for them but its really hard knowing that here I am doing everything I can just to have a baby....

Seriously Considering Adoption

Yes, we have thought about adoption countless times. What makes us hesitate? The horror stories of adopted children turning bad or ungrateful.

Whenever I see or hear from the news of children being abandoned, maltreated or aborted, I couldn't help bu cry everytime. Here we are sacrificing a lot, spending a lot of money, and emotionally burdened just to have at least one child. Then you see people who do not treasure their children?

Why is this so?

Hubby and I have talked about it and we finally decided to attend the pre-adoption seminar. It was very enlightening and what really caught our attention was on why adopted children turn into a problematic child. One of the biggest factor was in handling the information that he/she is an adopted child. In most problematic cases, the child had no knowledge of his/her adoption and once they find out they somehow loose their identity. They start feeling unwanted and that they don't belong. The critical part is really telling the child as early as possible that he/she is adopted. That he/she was "wanted" by the adoptive family.

We found out that most of the time, Filipinos would want to adopt a girl rather than a boy because of "inheritance" issues.

After completing the seminar, we're suppose to submit several documents to start our adoption procedures. Here's the website for the details http://www.gov.ph/faqs/adoption.asp.

We're currently completing all the required documents....

Not Yet...

Not this time. I got my period on my 30th day which is actually my normal cycle :(

I guess its not yet meant to be at this time.

Anyway, I found an organic supplement called royal jelly from the bee farm I visited. It is claimed to "increase fertility and alleviates impotence". It is also said to be good for childless couple. The farm that I visited is called "Ilog ni Maria". They are selling at lot of other natural and organic stuff. Visit my other blog to check what other organic stuff they are selling http://adventuresofanundomesticatedhousewife.blogspot.com. I didn't buy the royal jelly yet because I want to consult my doctor first before trying.

I bought instead the the bee propolis and honey cider vinegar for detox and immune system. Will also wait for my doctor's advise before taking both.

Neverending Hope...

I'm day 27 of my cycle today and I am hoping and praying that maybe this time we already conceived a baby :)

I'll know by Friday, which is actually our 4th wedding anniversary. Maybe its a wedding anniversary gift for us???

Only God knows and in His time :)

Charting My Basal Body Temperature (BBT)

How do I chart my basal body temperature?

Items Needed:

Thermometer - I use a digital thermometer since its much more convenient. I don't need to shake it before taking my temperature. For those using the regular one (with mercury) make sure that you shake it before going to sleep. Shaking it after waking up and just before taking your temperature will affect the reading.

I keep it right beside my bed or beside my pillow every night before going to sleep.

Notebook or Phone: I use my phone to jot down my temperature everyday. This is also easier for me because the time is also recorded so when transfer it to my excel file, all the data I need is there. Some may opt to just s notebook where they can jot down their temperature.

BBT Chart or Graph: I use this for the actual tracking of my menstruation or day of my cycle, intercourse with hubby, temperature, time my temperature was taken and my cervical mucous. It also helps me keep track of the length of my cycle. Here's a sample for this month.

When and How do I Take My Basal Body Temperature:

I take my temperature immediately upon waking up without getting out of the bed and without much movement. No intake of anything even water before taking my temperature. I should have at least 5 hours sleep to get a more accurate reading. I also try to take it at the same time everyday or at least only with a gap of 30 minutes.

Interpreting My Basal Body Temperature

Here's a sample of a good chart/graph of my BBT:


I've been charting my BBT for almost a year and it helped me establish my normal body temperature. It also give me a trend on my exact ovulation period together with the status of my cervical mucous.

As you can see from my chart, my temp went down to 36 degrees Celsius on the 17th day of my cycle. The best time for our contact/intercourse would have been on 16th, 17th and 18th day of my cycle. Since the sperm can live 3-5 days it would be better if there's a sperm present during the actual ovulation. This is the critical part because the eggs can only live for 12-24 hours. Before, I thought that we should have intercourse during the sudden surge in my temperature when ovulation has occurred already. This is still acceptable but then our chances of conceiving is slimmer because the eggs have been released.

By the way, don't mind the first few days of my cycle because I had the flu then, so my temp was really high.

I am no expert on this but this how I got about taking my basal body temperature. It gives me a good indication of my menstrual cycle and more importantly the best time to conceive.

Then some may ask me, how come you have not conceived? As you can see in my previous posts, we were beset with a lot of problems and sometimes the timing of ovulation does not coincide with me and my hubby's desire to have sex. This is another issue altogether. We just want to relax a bit on this and not to pressure ourselves too much. We don't want it to be too mechanical and we end up not enjoying ourselves.

Our next step is to go out of town/country trip to make it more relaxing and conducive to conceiving a baby. Good Luck to us :)

My Do's and Don'ts

Since I'm into homeopathy and of the principles behind this is that the treatment is very specific to an individual based on the background of the person. Some of my do's and dont's are very common but some are just applicable to those in homeopathic treatment. . These are the list as recommended by my Homeopathic OB.

DO's

1. Drink a lot of water; about 2-5 liters everyday.
2. Eat more fruits, fish and vegetables.
3. Religiously chart my basal body temperature (BBT).
4. Exercise everyday. Alternate a cardio workout with Pilates.
5. Get enough sleep; at least 6 hours a day.
6. Take supplements everyday (all from Healthy Options): Ultimate Anti-oxidant, Buffered C, Virgin Coconut Oil, and Evening Primrose Oil.
7. Take medicines twice a day before meal times. I am currently taking 6 medicines: thyroidinum (thyroid medicine), gallium heel (mobilize my visceral fat), strumeel (metabolism), engystol (immune system), and gripp heel (immune system). I also take AMN 200 (fertility) every other Thursday.
8. Take my medicines with mineral water only.
   
9. Take only organic food as much as possible.
10. Eat the fruits and vegetables first before eating beef or meat.
    

DON'Ts

1. Don't eat pork and processed foods.
2. Stop smoking and alcohol drinking.
3. No coffee, soft drinks and powdered juices.
4. Don't use nail polish unless there's one available made of natural or organic ingredients.
   
5. Minimize sweets especially ice cream, cake and chocolates.
6. Don't use tight underwear to avoid blocking the lymphatic system.
7. Don't take any conventional/synthetic/orthodox medicines.
8. Don't take mentholated toothpaste and candies.
9. Avoid fried food.

As of now these are my do's and dont's while trying to conceive through homeopathy. I am not sure whether this list will increase or decrease as we go along with my treatment.

Check-Up Routine With My Doctor

This time I just want to summarize what my homeopathic OB regularly checks whenever we have our consultations. Every consultation with her would take an hour for me and an hour for my husband.

First, she always ask me how I am? From there she'll ask me changes/updates on what's happening with my life. Am I stressed? What's causing my stress? Do I sleep better or am I having a a hard time sleeping. What have I been eating lately? Any noticeable changes in my body? About my bowel movements-How often, what's the color and whether its a floater or not? Any hot flushes? Have I been regularly exercising? How's my food intake?

Then we discuss my basal body temperature chart. She checks whether I had a good rise in temperature during my ovulation period. We also discuss how's my level of libido, how was the blood flow during my period? What color was the blood and were there blood clots? Did I experience any pre-menstrual symptoms?

After that she'll do her physical examination. She will check my tongue to see if if I'm hydrated or dehydrated, temperature, BMI (body mass index) and blood pressure. Then she'll do a cervical exam using a speculum. She always tells me whether my cervix is happy, shy or mad. She says a good sign of a happy cervix is when its really pink and smiling while it's mad if its reddish with pimple like growth. Shy when the os or opening is somehow close. Then we discuss my cervical mucous. Ideal state is when its oozing with the egg white like texture.

After that she'll check how my visceral fat is mobilizing. She also does breast examination and check my lungs and throat.

From there she'll discuss what medicines should I take, when to take it and until when do I take it.

Then we schedule for our next appointment.

Pilates Strongly Recommended For Women Who Is Trying To Conceive

I've been going to gym to keep me healthy and to keep my metabolism going. As a result of my complete thyroidectomy, my metabolism completely slowed down. I started getting a personal trainer to keep in shape.

Basically, I was doing cardio and weight lifting. After discussions with my homeopath, she recommended that I stop my weight lifting.

Why?

1. I had a slightly retroverted uterus and weight lifting further aggravates it.
2. I also had a slight scoliosis and weight lifting is not helping.

She strongly recommended that I switch to pilates because it will help prepare in pregnancy as well as giving birth. Pilates allows you to more or less control your body/breathing, strengthens your abdomen, and promotes better posture. These are all critical during pregnancy since we all know that we will be gaining a lot of weight and especially during the birth process.

So I hired a different personal trainer in gym to conduct my one on one pillates training. It does actually correct posture and I feel that my stomach is smaller :) Again, this should help me get rid of my visceral fat as mentioned in my previous post.

She also recommended for me to take a fat burner, specifically with the following ingredients/contents:

1. hydroxycitrate
2. choline complex
3. methionine (as l-methionine)
4. inositol

This again is to help me loose my visceral fat. My doctor wants to make sure that I am completely healthy when I get pregnant so that no complications will arise.

Another Lymph Drainage Theraphy Session for My Visceral Fat

On my next visit, my homeopath discussed her findings and gave me my first dose of my constitutional remedy. She also discussed layers wherein it hides/manifests as who you are but actually its not the real you. Its a bit difficult to explain about it. I also forgot to ask her what my constitutional type is. Once she gets back from her training I'll ask her about it.

I was also again asked to undergo LDT because of my visceral fat. She wanted to make sure that all my visceral fat is mobilized or in other words removed make it appear in the surface in order for me to easily loose it through exercise. So, what is visceral fat?


"Body fat comes in two varieties. There’s subcutaneous fat, a noticeable layer of fat that lies just below the skin, and then there’s visceral fat, which is buried beneath the muscles. Visceral fat is the more worrisome variety because it surrounds vital organs and is metabolized by the liver, which turns it into blood cholesterol. Visceral fat can go largely unnoticed because it’s not visible to the naked eye. In fact, the only effective way researchers can locate visceral fat is by magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), which uses magnetic waves to take a picture of the inside of the abdomen. Researchers can use this picture to estimate the amount of visceral fat a person is carrying." (Source:http://www.womenfitness.net/visceral_fat.htm)


I was also requested to take gallium heel for faster/easier mobilization of my visceral fat. Why the need for this in conceiving a baby? If I have so much visceral this may lead to hypertension during pregnancy, preeclampsia and other complications.

She said I should at least reduce or eliminate it from my body. Aside from this she also requested me to exercise at 3 times a day.


By the way I was not able to mention the after effects of my 1st LDT. An hour after the session, I was sleepy, had bowel discharges (frequently) and I was thirsty. The reason why I was sleepy was a way of my body telling me that I lack sleep. The bowel movement was more of releasing the toxins in my body.

Establishing My Constitutional Type

Hubby and I were scheduled by our homeopath for a 2 hour session each. This was needed to be able to clearly establish our individual "constitutional" type.

What is a "constitutional" type? As mentioned in one my posts, getting into homeopathic treatment is really personalized. This means that the treatment or remedy given to two people with similar sickness will be different depending on their constitutional type.

The 2 hour sessions was very extensive. Aside from the early discussion on my healthy history, we discussed my personality, habits, fears, did I have a happy childhood, how do i deal with stress, what stresses me most, what do I like to eat, what I don't like to eat, how do I react to cold and hot weather, what prompts me to smoke, what do i enjoy the most, and a lot more.

One particular question that strucked me the most was that when she asked what was the most important things for me? I paused for a while and I answered that family was my top most priority in my life.

On our next appointment she'll discuss with me my constitutional type and she will give me my constitutional remedy.

When I got home, I thought about what we discussed. Thinking about what I said regarding what stresses me the most and what is the most important thing in my life. At that time the greatest stress in my life was work. I was happy with my work but what really stressed me out was the environment in the office. I was no longer happy with the politics and certain mandates in running the category I was handling. From there, I started thinking that if family was the most important thing for me, shouldn't I prioritize or focus on that rather than my career?

After several soul searching and discussions with my husband, I decided to resign and be a housewife. After being such a workaholic for 12 years, being career oriented, earning a 6 figure salary, prime position in a good company and another promotion in the offing, it will never truly make me happy unless I have a baby.

After 4 months of being a housewife, I couldn't be happier. I am truly glad that I made this decision in my life. I don't miss the deadlines, stress, meetings, waking-up early in the morning, etc. We are now focussing on conceiving a baby.

This also lead to my writing this blog or documenting my journey.

Lymph Drainage Theraphy (LDT)

It took 5 months before my husband and I were accommodated by our other doctor (partner of our homeopathic doctor) for our lymph drainage theraphy because her schedules are full since she also administers cranio sacral theraphy (CST).

Before undergoing LDT, we were required to drink a lot to ensure that we were hydrated (water and fresh juices only), schedule to take a leave or make sure that you stay at home after the theraphy, and eat a light before the theraphy.

We were recommended to undergo this theraphy to detoxify our body, stimulation of our immune sytem (due to our reproductive immunology problems), fertility and regeneration of tissues especially for me since I have undergone surgeries. This goes hand in hand with our homeopathic treatment.

The initial theraphy will be done in 4 sessions and were scheduled Tuesday and Thursday for 2 weeks (an ahour each for me and my husband). The rationale behind the intervals is to determine what kind of reaction/effect/changes in your body after each session.

What is lymph drainage theraphy?

"The proper functioning of the lymphatic system is critical to our body's ability to operate at peak performance. This system drains fluids, detoxifies and regenerates tissues, filters out toxins and foreign substances and helps us maintain a healthy immune system. If lymph circulation stagnates however, toxins accumulate and compromise cellular functioning, which opens the way to physical ailments." (Source: http://www.upledger.com/therapies/ldt.htm).

It involves a very light touch, lighter than a regular massage from the head to to toe and front and back of the body.

For my first session, the doctor tried to determine which part was blocked in my system. She said that my liver, kidneys, thyroid, and left ovaries were blocked. My thyroid blockage was a result of my two operations. Liver and kidneys were blocked due to the toxins/chemicals in my body, meaning these were the toxins coming from the unhealthy lifestyle (drinking/eating) for the past 30+ years.

One thing that really surprised me was the blockage at my left ovaries. When I was a kid, my immunization/vaccinations shots were in my left upper thigh that was very near to one of the major lymph node/vessel located in the inner left thigh. All the metals from those vaccinations were stored thus creating the blockage in that area as well as my ovary.

During the session, the doctor noticed that I also had a curvature in my spine (slight scoliosis) that was causing my back pains previously. She said she'll do a cranio sacral theraphy (CST) to correct the scoliosis.

By the way aside from physical release, LDT also touches on the emotional/mental release of the person. This means that if you are also suffering from emotional depression/sadness/problems LDT is interrelated with this. So, all kinds of release will be expected after the sessions.

Balanced PH or Acidity Affects Fertility

In homeopathy, treatment is very personal. Meaning that treatment is tailor fitted to the individual based on personal background, medical history and findings.

On top of our medicines, one of our (my husband and I) common treatment this time was Alkala Powder. This was the first time I heard that both of us should have the right acidity level because this also affects our ability to conceive. Our doctor further explained that if I was too acidic then this would most likely kill the sperm entering my body while if my husband is too acidic, most likely his sperm is also of poor quality thus resulting to the inability to conceive.

Hmm, I am really learning a lot from our doctor. All the more that I am convinced that we took the right path and I am very much happy with our decision.

Anyway, so the Alkala Powder was to be taken twice a day together with notakehl (just for 10 days). Then we should test our ph level using the strip first thing in the morning and before sleeping.

She also prescribe oral micronized progesterone to be taken day 13 to 25 of my cycle. I'm suppose to take this for 3 months.

Oh, I forgot to mention. During the balancing of our ph levels, we could not eat anything fresh. So no fresh fruit, vegetable, sushi and sashimi. I think this was because she's preventing us from getting bacteria or something as this affects our treatment.

This was the hardest part since I love fresh fruits and vegetables :(

Detox Effects on My Body

The bathroom became my best friend after taking all the medicines prescribed by my homeopathic doctor. I really felt that was releasing all the toxins accumulated for the past 33 years.

I was consuming about 2 liters of water everyday. One liter the one with all the medicines for my detox and the other one is plain water. I frequently urinated as in about every 30 minutes interval. Then my bowel movement significantly increased as well.

On our next visit, which was two weeks after our doctor wanted to know in detail what where the changes in our body that we noticed. I mentioned the frequent urination and bowel movement. She said this was good because this means our toxins were mostly coming from the gut and the lungs. She then prescribed me the homeopathic substitute for my thyroid. By the way unlike the usual OB's I've encountered, she never did a transvaginal ultrasound for the past two consultations.

She also recommended for me to take ultimated antioxidant and bufferred C as supplements. Aside from that, we will still continue with our detox drink.

We are also scheduled for a lymphatic drainage therapy (LDT) which is being done by her partner who is also an accredited doctor who can do this treatment. LDT is a deeper form of detoxification. I'll try to look for another site that will further explain this.

First Appointment w/ Our Homeopathic Doctor

It was the first time that we had a consultation with a doctor that took 2 hours. She started off with a long questionnaire that both hubby and I should fill up indivifually.

Everything that you can think of was there especially the medical background that included mine and my parents. I had to indicate if my parents went through any operation, hospitalization, etc. I found it kinda weird because I was thinking what's the connection in our desire to conceive again.

During the consultation, she was telling me that in homeopathy we don't just deal with the physical state but also the emotional/psychological health of the person. She asked me on how describe myself, what do I like doing, what kind of work I was involved in, etc.

An hour later during our consultation, she asked me how did you feel and how are you feeling now after the miscarriage? I felt that I have moved on and that I was completely over it (3 years after the miscarriage. But when I was about to answer her, I felt myself choking up and being teary eyed. I told her how devastated I was and that I was really looking forward to having a baby then. I said there were times that I'd still remember the baby and I'd really cry when I remember. She asked me, do you talk to your baby? Are you really at peace with your baby?

I asked why, she said that even though we may appear that we have healed physically. Our body can still sense the trauma, sadness and apprehensions that we feel. It could sense whether we are ready or not. She asked me I was ready to conceive again and I immediately said yes. The doctor said that I have to make sure that I have healed completely.

After that, it was my husbands turn. She also asked the same thing as well as how he felt when we lost the baby. He also shared his feeling but I guess as typical guys would do, he sounded and felt like he was healed already.

From there, she recommended that we have our usual blood test (CBC/LDL, etc. analysis), sperm analysis for hubby. She also requested that we remove pork in our diet because pork is like the human body that its so alike that the tendency is for our body to retail thus causing our increased in weight. She also prescribed nux vomica, gallium heel, berberis, and lymphonuosat for our detox treatment. We took this with 1 liter of mineral water everyday. Then she prescribed bronchalis heel for our lungs since we both smoke. Another medicine, strumeel to complement my conventional/synthetic medicine for my thyroid.

By the way aside from that she also prepared us to be ready with our change in lifestyle. Softdrinks, sweets and coffee should be taken less often and if possible none. Drink lots of water because we were too dry. Of course we were asked to be ready to quit smoking.

Lastly, she also asked our commitment level. We both said that we are ready.

Whew, it was a hard start for us because it was complete change in lifestyle.

Seeking A Second Opinion Through Homeopathy

Hubby and I decided to seek a second opinion regarding our condition. A friend referred her doctor who is into homeopathy.

"Homeopathy is the system of medicine which works on the principle of 'like cures like' (Similia Similibus curanter). The theory behind the working of homeopathy is that the body of every human being contains a vital force within the body which regulates the functioning of the body. Due to reasons such as heredity, environmental conditions, stress etc, this vital force weaken causing disease. So, disease is nothing but a complex of certain symptoms observed in the human body. The homeopathic physician make a study of not only the symptoms the patient is complaining of, but of the entire patient himself. This leads to a picture of the patient." (Source: http://bringhealth.com/index.html)

This doctor is also an ob/gyn but she's praticing homeopathy. What made it really interesting for me was her principle of trying to find out what was causing the immunological problems rather than just trying to cure. She explained that everything is all natural, no synthetic medicines but it would take a longer period of time compared to conventional medicine. She explained that there is an imbalance in our system thus causing the immunological problem. The whole objective is to make hubby and me healthy and find out what's causing the imbalances to ensure that we will be able to conceive, carry the baby full term and give birth to a healthy baby.

After a 2 hour consultation with her, hubby and I went home and tried to discuss which route to go. Whether we should go conventional or homeopathy. I immediately recommended that we go homeopathy. Hubby was a bit hesitant because it was not convetional medicine. I said that there will be no harm in doing it because at the end of the day the main objective is to make us healthy.

The main factor that we discussed was our level of commitment. It will not just be me who will be treated but both of us. Another factor was that it would be a longer process because the treatment is based on our level of health. If we will not be able to commit to homeopathy then it will defeat the whole purpose of the treatment.

After a very thorough discussion, we both agreed that we will go the more natural way which is homeopathy.

Reproductive Immunology Test Results

Unfortunately for us, we tested positive for Category 1, 3 and 5. What rotten luck for us....

Again the, immunologist tried to explain the treatment to us but it was so complicated. He recommended lymphocyte immunotheraphy (LIT), heparin, aspirin, prednisone, and IVIG as treatment for the 3 categories that we tested positive.

I didn't understand everything and it was quite difficult to ask him to explain in lay mans term what the treatment involved. So I resorted to researching again on my own.

I tried looking for similar cases in the Philippines but I really didn't know anyone. If indeed there were some, most of them were on positive for Category 1.

This was so frustrating for me, it seems that our problems were neverending in our desire to have a child. Why us? There are a lot of people in my country who couldn't even take care of their children but here we are exhausting all means just to have a child.

In my quest to understand the treatment, I found out that some of the recommended treatments were not even allowed on certain countries. Some had side effects and some treatments were not even successful. What bothered me the most was the thought of having all these medicines pumped into my body, my immune system will be tampered with and yet the success rate was at only 25% without even considering the side effects.

I was in so much pain, I was so confused whether to undergo all these treatments despite my concerns and hesitations. What if the treatment will just mess up with my body? What if complications will occur and it will just prevent us from having a baby.

We went back to the Ob/Gyn after consulting the immunologist and he was recommending that we undergo the treatment and then go through iui or ivf.

On top of this, we also found out that my husbands sperm had low motility levels.

Talk about obstacles in conceiving a baby. How lucky can we get? I am just thankful that my husband is very supportive.

Hubby and I decided to weigh our options before deciding what to do next.

Connection of Thyroid in Reproductive Immunologic Problems

After numerous search and gathering feedbacks (learning from our previous mistake), we decided to consult a top notch ob/gyn. During our first consultation, I explained to him in detail my medical condition. After learning about my thyroid condition (thyroidectomy), he immediately referred us to an immunologist.

He wanted to eliminate or determine whether I was suffering from immunological problem due to my thyroid problems. It is a major factor in suspecting a patient of having reproductive immunological problems despite the fact that I did not really exhibit/experience the usual indications.

Indications of reproductive immunologic problems (as explained by my doctor): repeated miscarriage (3-4 times), IUI and IVF failures, unexplained infertility, and unable to conceive again despite having a child already.

I've only had one miscarriage, have not tried IUI or IVF, no child and I think I'm only positive with the unexplained fertility.

So my husband and I consulted an immunologist and he explained to us what Reproductive Immunology is all about. It was a very complicated matter and I really did not understand what it was all about.

So, what I did was to research in the internet and spent time in really understanding it. Here's a summary of all the collected data I gathered from the internet . It consists of 5 Categories (1) Absence of Pre Formed Blocking Antibody (2) Anti Phospholipid Antibody (3) ANA (4) Anti Sperm and (5) NK Cells greater than 12%.

Caregory 1 - Lack of Blocking Antibody to Pregnancy

Summary:

"In normal pregnancy the male part of the embryo will cause the woman to develop antibodies that form a protective ‘ring’ (a blocking antibody) around the embryo. In couples that are a close genetic match there is a lack of the blocking antibody to pregnancy, the embryo or fetus is rejected and the pregnancy fails". (Source: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/immunologysupport/files/immune treatments, what are they?/Reproductive Immunology at CARE Patient Guide)

Category 2 - Antiphospholipid Antibodies (APA's)

Summary:

"Repeated miscarriages, IVF failures, endometriosis and anything that causes tissue injury can lead to the formation of antibodies to phospholipids. These are called antiphospholipid antibodies. Phospholipids are important molecules in the membranes of all cells, and antibodies to these important molecules can derange cell function, cause inflammation and can even cause blood to clot too quickly". (Source: http://repro-med.net/info/cat2.php)

Category 3 - Positive Anti-nuclear Antibody (ANA)

Summary:

"Category 3 immune problems occur in 22% of women with recurrent pregnancy losses and nearly 50% of women with infertility and IVF failures. Women with this problem make antibodies to DNA, or DNA breakdown products in the embryo or in the pregnancy. The woman's blood clots too fast cutting off support to the baby. These antibodies also cause the embryo to attach too weakly to the uterus". (Source: http://repro-med.net/info/cat3.php)

Category 4 - Anti-sperm antibodies

Summary:

"The antibody to sperm is often associated with antiphospholipid antibodies to the phospholipids serine and ethanolamine. Antibodies to sperm should be suspected

* if women have antibodies to serine and or ethanolamine,
* in women with poor post coital tests (sperm are dead or not moving in the cervical
mucus), and
* in women whose spouses have antisperm antibodies."

(Source: http://repro-med.net/info/cat4.php)

Category 5 - Elevated Natural Killer Cells

Summary:

"Natural Killer Cells are good because they stop the body from developing cancer. Twelve per cent of women with recurrent pregnancy losses (3 or more) and 35% of women with 3 or more IVF failures have elevated NK cells.
NK cells are one of the most primitive lymphocytes in man. They have several useful functions. One of these is to produce a cytotoxic chemical called tumor necrosis factor (TNF). TNF is very effective in eliminating altered cells in our body e.g. cancer cells. Some women have higher than normal levels. The embryo can be misinterpreted as cancer cells and in pregnancy, NK cells increase in number and killing power, causing embryos to become damaged by the TNF." (Source: http://repro-med.net/tests/nkassay.php)

Whew, it was really tough trying to understand everything. After reading so many articles about it, I really prayed and hoped we will not test positive to any of the categories.

So my husband and I went for our blood tests. They took I think about 12 vials of my blood because there were 12 tests that needs to be done. They only took 5 vials from my husband (lucky him :)). I had to stay like 15-20 minutes in the lab because they were having a hard time getting my blood because I had thin veins. They even used the needle for babies just to be able to get the required blood sample from me. It was an exhausting time for me.

On top of that it was really expensive, we spent more than P40,000 pesos for the tests.

Next would be the results and treatment required.

Qualifications For The Right OB/Gyn (Obstetrics and Gynecologist)

Ahead of us was a hard task of looking for the right or perfect OB/Gyn. What were our qualifications?

1. Somebody who we can be at ease with
2. Willing to answer our questions patiently
3. Explains carefully what procedures/medicines she was recommending or administering
4. Cares for the our overall health
5. Someone who is passionate about her career

Why did we have so many qualifications? We learned the hard way. During my first pregnancy, since it was unplanned we just consulted our friends to recommend their OB/Gyn. We went to this doctor who was highly recommended by one of our friends. We didn't bother to ask questions since we felt that she was good because our friend just gave birth and she gave nothing but high praises with this doctor.

At first she seemed nice and friendly. On our second visit, all she did was conduct a transvaginal ultrasound and that was it. We were somewhat questioning ourselves how come all she does is the ultrasound and not much on discussions and consultations. My husband and I decided that if she will just do the ultrasound and nothing much, we will transfer to another OB/Gyn.

Unfortunately, on the third visit that's the time we found out that baby Blue didn't have a heartbeat anymore. So I had my dilation and curettage (D&C).

Our horror story did not end there, a few hours after the D&C the OB/Gyn called us and she requested if we could already pay her professional fee because there will be no office the following day because it was a Sunday. My husband really flared up and got so mad because the OB/Gyn did not even visit me after the D&C, there were no instructions on what we should do next and here she was billing us already. There were no discharge papers yet so we didn't even know if we were suppose to leave the hospital. It also sounded like she wasn't even planning to visit me and she will just leave everything with her residents until I got discharged from the hospital. We felt that she was really unprofessional, she was just after the money.

Our Second Ob/Gyn (We went to a different Ob/Gyn for the follow-up check after the miscarriage) was highly recommended. In fact she was a fertility specialist and is known to be one of the best Ob/Gyn. Initially, we were so glad because she was easy to talk to and was very accommodating.

Our major complaint this time was that she was administering a lot of medicines but didn't really explain carefully what was the rationale behind it. Every time I visited her she would just inject me and prescribed medicines and asked to come back at day 14 of my cycle and day 1 of my menstruation. This went on for 7 months until my husband and I decided to try conceiving on our own.

Thyroid Issues Affecting Fertility

Hyperthyroidism symptoms: palpitations, heat intolerance, weight loss, trembling hands and light menstruation. I experienced all that and was further confirmed by my blood test.

I decided to focus on curing my thyroid first because it does affect the chances of conceiving.

So I consulted my endocrinologist, she prescribed medicines to at least normalize my TSH before scheduling my operation. I had to have surgery because it was cystic and it continued to grow.

In September 2005, I was operated and I had high hopes that now we will be able to conceive because we have eliminated the thyroid problem.

After the operation, i had my regular blood test to check on my thyroid hormone levels and I found out that this time I developed hypothyroidism as an effect of removing my thyroid. By the way I already had one part remove 15 years ago so there was really nothing left with my thyroid.

The doctor recommended for me to take medicines for life to ensure that I will be able to maintain my thyroid hormones at the right level. After 6 months, everything was back to normal.

After receiving the good news, my husband and I decided to consult a new OB to begin our fertility work-up for the second time.

Quest to Conceive Again After a Miscarriage

After our wedding, my husband and I decided to have a fertility work-up to be able to conceive immediately after the miscarriage.

We consulted a fertility OB and she prescribed duphaston, provera, pregnyl to help me conceive. My husband and I tried to time our intercourse during my fertile days. I had follicle monitoring every month as well as during my periods.

What was surprising was she never requested for a sperm analysis for my husband. She just kept on prescribing medicines and this went on for 7 months.

After that nothing happened, I felt that my husband and I should try conceiving on our own without medicines since I easily got pregnant before. After a year of trying on our own to no avail, I found out that I had hyperthyroidism. Its was the cystic type and doctors recommended to have it surgically removed.

The Pain of Having a Miscarriage

July 2003

I found out I was pregnant and I was really excited. Although it came unexpectedly, meaning it was unplanned, the joy that I felt was indescribable.

I enjoyed feeling pregnant, I was always getting hungry. I craved for a specific fruit, pomelo. It had to be really red otherwise I didn't eat it. I hated to share it and I loved dipping it in red cane vinegar.

We even had a nickname for our baby, we were going to call her "BLUE".

I had several transvaginal ultrasound and everything was normal, the baby had a heart beat.

My boyfriend and I decided to get married earlier than planned and was busy preparing for our wedding and the baby.

I was on top of the world!!

September 2003

On the 12th week of pregnancy, I went to the OB for my regular check-up. There was no heart beat....The baby stopped growing at 9 1/2 weeks.

My world collapsed and I was so stunned with the news that I couldn't really react.

The OB said that sometimes these things happen and that at times its even better this way because the baby was not healthy.

I was immediately scheduled for a D&C and in 3 days I was out of the hospital. The OB termed it as missed abortion.

I was crying the whole time I was in the hospital. I had questions like, Why baby blue? Did I do something wrong? Was it because I really didn't take care of myself? Was it because initially my Mom was ashamed because I got pregnant without the benefit or marriage? Was I a bad person?

I just couldn't move on. Good thing that I was also preparing for our wedding that's why I was kept busy and didn't really had the time to dwell on my sadness. Although, from time to time I would suddenly cry and just remember baby blue.