Qualifications For The Right OB/Gyn (Obstetrics and Gynecologist)

Ahead of us was a hard task of looking for the right or perfect OB/Gyn. What were our qualifications?

1. Somebody who we can be at ease with
2. Willing to answer our questions patiently
3. Explains carefully what procedures/medicines she was recommending or administering
4. Cares for the our overall health
5. Someone who is passionate about her career

Why did we have so many qualifications? We learned the hard way. During my first pregnancy, since it was unplanned we just consulted our friends to recommend their OB/Gyn. We went to this doctor who was highly recommended by one of our friends. We didn't bother to ask questions since we felt that she was good because our friend just gave birth and she gave nothing but high praises with this doctor.

At first she seemed nice and friendly. On our second visit, all she did was conduct a transvaginal ultrasound and that was it. We were somewhat questioning ourselves how come all she does is the ultrasound and not much on discussions and consultations. My husband and I decided that if she will just do the ultrasound and nothing much, we will transfer to another OB/Gyn.

Unfortunately, on the third visit that's the time we found out that baby Blue didn't have a heartbeat anymore. So I had my dilation and curettage (D&C).

Our horror story did not end there, a few hours after the D&C the OB/Gyn called us and she requested if we could already pay her professional fee because there will be no office the following day because it was a Sunday. My husband really flared up and got so mad because the OB/Gyn did not even visit me after the D&C, there were no instructions on what we should do next and here she was billing us already. There were no discharge papers yet so we didn't even know if we were suppose to leave the hospital. It also sounded like she wasn't even planning to visit me and she will just leave everything with her residents until I got discharged from the hospital. We felt that she was really unprofessional, she was just after the money.

Our Second Ob/Gyn (We went to a different Ob/Gyn for the follow-up check after the miscarriage) was highly recommended. In fact she was a fertility specialist and is known to be one of the best Ob/Gyn. Initially, we were so glad because she was easy to talk to and was very accommodating.

Our major complaint this time was that she was administering a lot of medicines but didn't really explain carefully what was the rationale behind it. Every time I visited her she would just inject me and prescribed medicines and asked to come back at day 14 of my cycle and day 1 of my menstruation. This went on for 7 months until my husband and I decided to try conceiving on our own.

The Pain of Having a Miscarriage

July 2003

I found out I was pregnant and I was really excited. Although it came unexpectedly, meaning it was unplanned, the joy that I felt was indescribable.

I enjoyed feeling pregnant, I was always getting hungry. I craved for a specific fruit, pomelo. It had to be really red otherwise I didn't eat it. I hated to share it and I loved dipping it in red cane vinegar.

We even had a nickname for our baby, we were going to call her "BLUE".

I had several transvaginal ultrasound and everything was normal, the baby had a heart beat.

My boyfriend and I decided to get married earlier than planned and was busy preparing for our wedding and the baby.

I was on top of the world!!

September 2003

On the 12th week of pregnancy, I went to the OB for my regular check-up. There was no heart beat....The baby stopped growing at 9 1/2 weeks.

My world collapsed and I was so stunned with the news that I couldn't really react.

The OB said that sometimes these things happen and that at times its even better this way because the baby was not healthy.

I was immediately scheduled for a D&C and in 3 days I was out of the hospital. The OB termed it as missed abortion.

I was crying the whole time I was in the hospital. I had questions like, Why baby blue? Did I do something wrong? Was it because I really didn't take care of myself? Was it because initially my Mom was ashamed because I got pregnant without the benefit or marriage? Was I a bad person?

I just couldn't move on. Good thing that I was also preparing for our wedding that's why I was kept busy and didn't really had the time to dwell on my sadness. Although, from time to time I would suddenly cry and just remember baby blue.